In most of my adolescent years, I’ve always struggled with low self-esteem and find immense difficulty loving myself. I’d succumb to peer pressure, conform to societal norms, to so call ‘fit in’. Oh the terrible things I’ve done to harm myself just to look good on the outside was one of the most disgraceful memories of my life. It was to the point that I legitimately wanted to end my life because living was just hell and it doesn’t have to be. During that period, I’ve let so many people down, my family being the worse. In the year 2017, I’ll be 20 (no longer a teenager). It’s time to live for myself.
I don’t have resolutions. I just have one which is self-love and I don’t mean turning into a narcissist. It means to fall in love with myself and everything that keeps me alive (because I almost experience death just now on the road). This 2017 isn’t going to be filled with a million meaningless resolutions that i know I most likely wouldn’t fulfil. It’s not scribbling on a white paper pointing out my fragile insecurities, frustrations, expectations, because it’s been too many years of that.
2017 carries love. Love feeling, love being present and alive. I want to be the person that embraces me the tightest, takes me up the highest and feels the deepest. Because what matters is You and I. You are all you need. It’s gonna be a journey of unfolding, lifting up several blinds, and self-discovery of the life-long relationship that’s been largely neglected, untapped and disregarded. Let everything we do be rooted in love.
It’s what keeps us alive.
photo credits: @fiftyflick