In most of my adolescent years, I’ve always struggled with low self-esteem and find immense difficulty loving myself. I’d succumb to peer pressure, conform to societal norms, to so call ‘fit in’. Oh the terrible things I’ve done to harm myself just to look good on the outside was one of the most disgraceful memories of my life. It was to the point that I legitimately wanted to end my life because living was just hell and it doesn’t have to be. During that period, I’ve let so many people down, my family being the worse. In the year 2017, I’ll be 20 (no longer a teenager). It’s time to live for myself.
8:30am. The morning air was cool and crisp with the breeze gently caressing my skin. The sky a clear ocean blue. I took in a deep breath while I kept my eyes closed. It was utmost invigorating as my senses rejuvenated. Absolutely gorgeous.
I don’t usually wake up at 7+ to take a stroll outside but because I had to collect some lovely oat balls that Cheryl had personally made for me, I had the chance to experience this refreshing moment. I arrived on time which is pretty rare and we manage to chat for a good 15-20 minutes before we parted ways. To be honest, I was surprised that we had endless things to talk about! From uni, to swimming lessons, her business, driving lessons, etc. I’m really glad that we’re still in contact till today. My favourite flavours are Nutty Nuts and Oreos. I ordered 12 balls and I just devoured 5 of em’ immediately. For those of y’all that haven’t tried oat balls made by teeny weeny treats, you haven’t lived. Just click on the link above to order the balls from them.
Can you spot me in this photo? becos I can hardly recognise myself.
It’s been some time since I visited PL and my fellow guzheng mates. I was pleasantly surprised that a meet up was initiated by Jiayu though out of 7 of us in the group, only 3 of us turned up. Yea, I hesitated when eva and gio backed out at the last minute but I missed laoshi and curious to see how the new batch of students are.
photo credits: @simplyalphonsine
Awoken by the most disturbing dream ever:
As my family and I got off the plane and landed in safely in Singapore on Tuesday, we decided to have dinner at KFC. Very Very Strangely I ordered the chicken drumsticks those spicy and extra crunchy ones. With my first bite, the tug of war match began in my mind. My mouth was enjoying the crispy and crunchy-ness of the fried chicken, my tongue savouring the taste which I hadn’t had in ages. However, the guilt of eating the flesh of another being just haunted me. Guilty Pleasure. After that ____ meal, the level of moral culpability just broke the scale. I tried purging all of it out of my system because I was just so grossed out by the fact that I just ate my poor friends. But, nothing came out. I then decided to give up on Veganism.
It felt so real. When I woke, I had to recall what exactly I had for dinner last night when I landed in Singapore. Thankfully, my memory didn’t fail me, I ate Dian Xiao Er (Vegan).
I was very much pleased with the breakfast as they had a reasonable spread of veg items. It was heartening to see a jar of soymilk beside the cereal bar. After breakfast, it was time to depart to our first location. We were greeted by a nice young chap who happens to be our chauffeur. There were many Korean boutique stores along the streets like SPAO, Innisfree and loud Korean music blasting in the background. I wonder if I’m really in Taiwan. One thing that I’m quite surprised about is how hospitable Taiwanese are, well-mannered and easy-going.
Dark clouds hung low and poured mercilessly. Having arrived at our first location which happens to be a museum under renovation because our lovely travel agent gave us the wrong information, we just had to head straight to the next location where we had our lunch. We were at the outskirts of Taipei which is actually pretty beautiful as it was covered in mostly green paddy fields.
A step out of the airport and I was welcomed by a cold gust of wind, ominous clouds and relentless honking. It was a 40 min drive, didn’t feel like sleeping so I decided to play the game spot the difference. Firstly, it was a left-hand drive, similar to American cars. The journey was pretty boring, nothing much to see on a highway. Strange thing was the highway was dimly lit with yellow lights and most buildings weren’t lit at all. My dad said it’s all part of their environmental saving efforts. The second thought that popped into my mind was why must the city be so far from the airport?! Perhaps due to the availability of land space, but for convenience sake isn’t it better if places are within close proximity? I felt grateful for Singapore’s size then. Buildings I observed were oriental looking (along the way). I plugged in my earpiece and clicked the shuffle button on my playlist, The Last Waltz by Engelbert Humperdink came on. Memories of the most beautiful moments with nic came surging back to a very special day where we shared a moment. One that let us shed tears of happiness in celebration of a beautiful moment. Thirdly, or is it fourthly, people here drive somewhat recklessly. It’s like going for a war every time you get out on the road. Much skills is needed to drive on the roads of Taipei. Also, the girls here are mostly decked out in their sky high boots with their face powdered with tons of blusher. Pretty attractive i must say. I didn’t expect myself to feel sooo full and bloated after today’s dinner. I ate sooo muchh. And to my pleasant surprise, this cute and friendly lady was asking if my family and i would be interested in sampling these Vegan cakes that were FULLY RAW . i totally didn’t expect a vegan cake shop at the basement of a departmental store. I was so intrigued by all the flavours that I kept asking for samples. After several mins of intense self-debating, I purchased 2 cakes – a blueberry lemon cake, and the original flavoured one. However due to the minuscule size of my belly, i’ll just have em’ for breakfast instead.
In celebration of our 2nd monthsary, I decided to treat Nic to a really special lunch. The concept of Fratini La Trattoria is that there is no menu because everything is customised on the spot. And with every dish served, their awesome servers will introduce the dish’s origin eg. South of Italy etc. The first time I went there was during our usual family dinner on a Saturday. Ever since then, I can never forget that place. The taste and flavours were deeply etched into my memory, just writing about it makes me salivate. If you’re thinking of a really romantic and special date night, this is the place. I went during lunch because it was half the price compared to dinner 😛 It’s best to make a reservation before heading there especially if you have specific dietary needs like me.
‘Be the change you wish to see in the world’
I grew up in an environment where crying is a sign of weakness. I was told of how damaged and broken society is and how cunning people can be. Indeed, the scariest things in life isn’t ghosts, demons, zombies or the supernatural, its us humans. That’s kinda why the ‘best’ horror movies are made around people these days instead of ghosts/zombies/demons such as Human Centipede (I suggest you don’t google it). Anyway, I’m digressing. Most people are afraid of opening themselves up for various reasons – whatever they say could potentially be used against them, betrayal, pride, trust issues. They all basically revolve around the same reason which is the fear of betrayal and judgement. Perhaps it’s because of this that’s why the world is the way it is ‘damaged and broken’.
Being vulnerable does not equate to being weak. What I mean by being vulnerable is to be open about yourself, to be willing to share about your life experiences – good ones, bad ones, heartbreaking ones, heartwarming ones, regrets, moments you’re proud of, even some that you’re ashamed of. I’m sure we all have encountered such moments, but all of them serve as a beautiful story to tell. Who knows? Maybe the person you shared your story with will take away something important from you.
It was partly cloudy that day. But being bored on a lazy afternoon after a great meal at Well Dressed gave us the impulse to go somewhere or do something. Nic suggested we go Gardens By The Bay. We didn’t go into the dome because I’ve already went in a couple of times (although it changes every season and I wouldn’t mind going in again). Tickets for the dome were a little too pricey for me so we decided to just rome around the gardens. When we came across the OCBC Skyway, I told Nic that I’ve never been up there. Nic recalled that there was no need for an entry fee. Guess they’ve decided to incorporate it – maximise their profits. It was $8 per person. Although the sign states that you are only allowed 15 min on the skyway, just stay for as long as you like 😉 But remember don’t walk back, you can only walk forward.
I noticed a couple of posts on Instagram mentioning how it’s fashion week in Singapore. All I could think about was how glamorous it would be to be a part of the fashion show, even as an audience. Hence, I didn’t think too much about it neither did I dress up for the occasion. Our day (29/10) began with a warm and hearty lunch at O’bean.
Nic had a major craving for the noodles (i forgot the name of the dish) since forever while I was pretty sick of the noodles so I decided to give their Signature porridge a go instead. To be honest, I was pretty impressed when I took the first bite into the porridge. However, subsequently, as I dived deeper into the porridge, there was this overwhelming herbal-ly taste that just ruined the entire porridge. Plus there was ginger slices mixed into it which wasn’t to my liking. I personally didn’t enjoy it at all, and couldn’t finish it. Nic’s dumpling noodles were much better than mine, that I can attest. Those dumplings are the best Vegan dumplings I’ve ever had.